Pander-Too-Rarely
Paul ‘chuffing’ Carr and Milo ‘yankee doodle’ Yiannopoulos gathered in the early hours to talk the Twilight franchise, liking The Butcher of Old Street but hating his employer and hyphens, for 35 fricking minutes.
Skype arms were encircled in a mutual back pat, but in amongst all this slapping and bon homie was a very serious message.
Yes folks, we’re breaking this and it’s not a taboo.
Milo appears to have been sent to civil war torn Syria or maybe Somalia, where he’s been captured by terror bent pirates thinking he’s a Kernel, deprived of sleep and locked in a box, possibly made of balsa wood.
Thankfully he’ still got that tweed jacket that has now auto woven itself into his DNA.
We expect a ransom demand imminently and a swift rebuttal from his former Kernel colleagues who realise that fireside chats with Elton John’s husband won’t pay the bills.
